Confidence: The Spark, the Struggle, and the Choice. What makes someone confident?

Motivation is a spark

Imagine someone who has completely lost the desire to do something. They feel stuck, discouraged, or simply don’t believe they can move forward. Then, suddenly, something changes. They watch someone accomplish what they once thought was impossible. Someone encourages them. They hear a story that resonates with them. They see a person who looks like them succeeding in a field they once thought they didn’t belong in.

Then a part of them says, “Maybe I can do this.” That thought doesn’t automatically create confidence. But it can create movement. You take the first step. You try. You fail. You try again. You learn something. Eventually, you accomplish something that once seemed impossible.

Motivation may start the journey, but consistency and experience help carry it forward.

For generations, women faced restrictions on education, careers, and participation in academic and scientific institutions. Women had to fight for access to opportunities that are now considered ordinary. And even after entering these spaces, women’s contributions have not always received the same recognition as men’s.

Men can also be pushed into roles based on what society believes men should do. A boy who wants to become a chef, for example, may face the stereotype that cooking is “women’s work.”

The larger problem is the assumption that certain interests, abilities, careers, or responsibilities naturally belong to one gender.

But confidence doesn’t mean nobody will doubt you

This is where my personal view comes in. I don’t think confidence means reaching a point where nobody’s opinion affects you. We’re human. Of course criticism can hurt. When someone says something wonderful about us, it can make us happy. When someone says something cruel, it can make us upset. That’s normal. But I think we sometimes give other people’s opinions too much power over our decisions. There will always be someone who doesn’t like what you choose.

If you choose medicine, someone may question you.If you choose engineering, someone may question you.If you choose neuroscience, someone may question you.If you choose something completely different, someone may still question you.

And there will also be people who support you, encourage you, and genuinely believe in you.

You cannot control which group everyone belongs to. So why should their opinions completely determine the direction of your life?

There will be difficulties regardless of which path you choose. That doesn’t mean those difficulties are meaningless or that we should ignore real barriers. It means that if a path is something you genuinely want to pursue, fear of other people’s opinions shouldn’t automatically be the reason you abandon it.

You do not need everyone’s approval to choose your own direction. Consistency can keep the journey moving. And confidence can grow somewhere along the way. But at the end of the day, there is one thing that belongs to you: the choice of what you do with your life. You only get one life. So perhaps the goal isn’t to build a life that everyone approves of. Perhaps the goal is to build one that you can stand behind.